To My Twin! I Am NOT Married Or Attached!

I’m not married or attached right now. I have not been married since 1996 when I divorced my ex-husband. I have waited pretty much since then. Yes I’ve had relationships in that time, one that lasted for about 5 months, but I have never gotten married again and never would until I was with you. Please do NOT do anything rash or do something because you think I’m unobtainable because I’m obtainable.

What you may not know...

When I was a small child you were always there to comfort me, talk with me, hold me, and dry my tears. You used to sing to me when I was very upset from other children making fun of me or treating me really badly or had a particularly bad day with my abusive alcoholic father. You kept me going, you kept me from killing myself, you essentially kept me alive and gave me a reason to live. Our hearts beat as one. Our souls are mingled and entwined. We are twins. I love you for what you have done for me and how you have healed me. I love you for who you really are on the inside. I have waited for a long time for you since the promise we made to each other when I was 16 years old. I still wait and will wait. I love you, forever.

I Feel Sick

Copywright 2/15/2013
I feel sick.
Everything that I thought he was and
everything I thought I was are nothing.

I love him.
Unconditionally and want to be with him
in a relationship but he does not want me.

He’s a runner.
Running scared and has abandoned me
I fear he’s left me forever.

I feel so sick.
Why did this happen?
Why does he not want me?

Love

Love
Copyright - 2/1/96

When it happens
Light shines on
Flowers bloom
And birds sing.

People dance
Freedom wins
Makes love
Grab the ring.

A feeling
Unlike any other
Winds carry
Love from afar.

Light as air
As a feather
Floating through
Wings of fire.

Good feelings
Sent adrift
Slow and calm
Life's highway.

Love's answer
To loneliness
Is supernatural
Beautiful days.

Sinking fast
Into the abyss
Love ignites
Hearty fire.

Drowning in seas
High and turbulent
Head swims
A single wire.

In Darkness My Friend

In Darkness My Friend
Written: 8/8/98

In darkness my friend you will mistakenly find me
For in darkness I dwell
In darkness my friend you will forever be my lover
For in darkness I take.

In darkness my friend nights seem somehow shorter
For in darkness I move
In darkness my friend life becomes a shape shifter
For in darkness I shift.

In darkness my friend I devour your life's blood
For in darkness I feed
In darkness my friend human blood pumps heartier
For in darkness I hunt.

In darkness my friend I find your precious, soft neck
For in darkness fangs glisten
In darkness my friend heartbeats become sure and sour
For in darkness I taste.

In darkness my friend life escapes this brutal twisted reality
For in darkness I drink
In darkness my friend ecstasy drains me to insanity
For in darkness I live.

In darkness my friend I must make my own sordid peace
For in darkness I hunger
In darkness my friend I must bid thee death farewell
For in darkness I am.

Fates Of The Heart

Copyright - 03/15/00
Fates of the Heart

Though the lover’s darkness holds no more
And am I the one to perish?
Under the dealt pressure of those before
Will our fates entwine to one?

Drought and nought will he begin to seek
And am I doomed to love failure?
Psychic link and almost utterly afraid to peek
At the splendor above the horizon.

Longing for his soft touch, a sigh, or kiss
And am I to wait impatiently?
Beginning our co-existing lives, cannot quit
Without putting up the fight.

Circumstances draw from the far to the near
And will he know it’s me?
Moments of silence, face to face and he’s here
Will I shudder and shrink?

Catching the very glimpse in his eyes
And knowing the time has come
He holds me tightly without goodbyes
Knowing our destinies are set.

Fates of the heart my lover comes nigh
And forgetting me not this day
Unspoken, un-uttered words and sighs
He is my fate for always.

Eternal Life

Eternal Life
Copyright: Demented Thinking Productions 1998

He  relished the dark of the night. The unwanted sounds and feelings  surrounding the beliefs that nighttime was evil and above all brought  forth with the dark side of all mankind. The smell of dead dried leaves  and old wispy branches filled his lungs to capacity. He moved silently  for the most part, but completely unwarranted for the later.

At  night a person could see and hear things that would never be heard  during the daylight hours. Strange and ominous creatures and beings  came out and acted as naturally as you and I showing their true colors  and feelings. People and things you wouldn’t ordinarily see during the  daytime roam without a real purpose in the cascading blackness of  night.

Sniffing  the stale city air he quietly hops from building top to building top  without so much as a glance down to wonder where the earth sits and  when it will swallow him up in a diving death for which he is  untouchable.  Careful to watch his step, though light, he  moved through the outskirts of Los Angeles evenly and silently by  rooftop scattering various black birds and bats to and fro. He knew  these buildings like the back of his hand and at times did not even  have to look where he was going.

His  eyes, well adjusted to the bleak darkness, scanned the city below  searching for his next victim or would maybe become his next of kin.  People seemed incredibly tiny as they hustled and bustled down the  dimly lit broken down sidewalks.

The  year was sometime after the millennium, he wasn’t sure exactly what  year since he long ago stopped keeping track. Los Angeles was mostly in  ruins, but he loved his city of angels dearly and found it hard to part  with it. Leaving it behind would be so troublesome when everything was  just as he wanted it to be, right here among the living dead and the  plentiful mortals.

Long  ago burnt out cars rolled over on their sides littered the side streets  making them impassable to another vehicle of any kind and some still  smoldered in the distance from the many gang riots when the Crypts  overthrew the Bloods in a final viscous gangland battle which killed  many of the human population as well as some kindred. But, all in all,  he still cherished his sweet deadly city and all it’s violence. It  could not touch him for he was immortal just as some of the others.

He  leaped to another rooftop and sat waiting and watching. As he watched  intently he spotted exactly what he was looking for. His first victim  of the night. She was lovely and quite a beautiful woman within this  dread and the un-kept city. Dark black hair caressed her tanned, bare  shoulders and her hourglass figure complemented her piecing blue eyes.  He observed distantly with bated breath swiftly hopping from building  top to building top gazing on her splendor and beauty. Walking quickly  and with some apparent purpose, she seemed completely unaware of his  presence.

Following  her for ten blocks maybe twelve he drifted down in flight behind her  and landed quietly careful not to overwhelm her. Walking several paces  behind her following her every move for five blocks he thought out in  his mind how simple and easy this kill would be. The first kill is  always the best and the easiest of the night. Lost in  his own thoughts he just about ran right into her when he heard her say  as if from some other place and time, “If you’re going to mug me or  something you’d better do it now, because I don’t have time to play  games with some creep like you.” Stunned that she even realized he was  there, he recoiled and slowed his pace coming to a halt behind her  without saying a word. She turned to face her night stalker and looked  him dead in the eye, “Well?” She pushed. Running his trembling fingers  through his straight long brown hair he fought to quell the hunger  growing ever so present deep from within his bones. He could smell the  blood coursing through her veins and he hears it as well. “Well!?!” She  insisted. “You are a beautiful creature,” he gasped.

In  the darkness his significant green eyes sparkled, but she felt somewhat  apprehensive and controlled looking deep into them. They were beautiful  eyes and she could of gazed into them for a lifetime, but a deep hidden  mischievousness danced just beyond the surface and she shuddered as a  chill ran the length of her tingling spine.  Becoming  suddenly chicken caught in the rivets of his piercing stare she  stammered, “W...,W...,Well, Th...,Thank you. N..., Now go away!”

Before  she turned to begin to walk away he seized her and bit deeply into her  unprotected neck with such quickness a normal mortal wouldn’t have seen  him move. She was warm and her blood was sweet to the taste. It flushed  through his system in sweet relief as every fiber of his being took  notice to the fresh new blood rampaging through his own veins.

Even  though he drained to the point of death he knew what he would do next.  He wanted her. He had to have her. She needed him and he needed her to  live and be his life long companion. She was so perfect in every way  and detail. The night did not do her justice. He stopped. Gazing into  her eyes he spoke quietly and calmly, “You are a charm. Do you want to  live or do you want the bleak darkness of death? Do you want my undying  love and devotion or do you want to die cold and alone? Do you want to  live forever?”

She  blinked in disbelief, as she appeared to compute this radical  information. Her head spun slightly as if she had drunk a little too  much wine and she became increasingly dizzy as the seconds ticked by.  The entire world whirled around her and she was becoming incapable of  independent thought. Looking deep into his eyes all her fears, hopes  and dreams were realized for the first time in her 25 years of life and  with what little strength she had left that was still her own she  answered meekly, “Yes, I do.”  A devilish smile played upon his lips as he countered with a lulling voice, “Then you shall have my eternal life and gift.”

Sweeping  her helpless body into his revitalized arms he effortlessly glided up  into the rooftops he cherished so much and made the becoming final. The  city below took no time to morn the loss and kept eternally beating for  the next prey would appear soon.

Bid My Lover To Thee

Copyright - 01/20/01
Bid My Lover to Thee

As I sit alone and forever waiting
I seek the one and true, my love
It seems a lifetime has passed me by
And he will bring my soul to rest
The night it creaks and moans his song
As I prepare for the awaiting moon
And I dive into love as waves sing.

My lover knows me in this and the other
Realms, which cannot be tested beyond knowledge
For my lover bids me to come
And he waits on his own time
As the stars grace the midnight air
I bid him to come to thee
Bring him close and near as it were.

He knows when I sleep, he knows when I wake
My lover sends his love on the highway
Of life and the physical astral planes
His love enlightens me through my day
And I will know no significant other
Until my lover comes home for me
Waiting for his move to make.

I bid my lover greetings to thee
And I know he will bring love on his wings
For he is my sun, my moon, and my night
In which I live and thrive through the day
Enveloping my darkness I’ll succumb
To his whims once in his arms
And now I wait and bide my time for he.

As he sends his love along the rose petals of night
I compel myself to greet his open arms
And drown my sorrows in his chest
As the moon rises in the sky I pray
Thee would flee to me with kindness
I bid thee my love and crown thee my king
And help me end my plight.

My lover can only be true and fair to me
As he winds down the road to passion
I am here and awaiting his calm touch
He brings forth the moment without despair
And the man to whom I wait longs
I linger in his arms at finally last
And now my love for him can be set free.

A Day In The Life

A Day in the Life

Copyright:1/25/96

A wounded disciple of the heart
Leaves his comfortable home in search
Of a loving woman who tends his needs.

A distinguished man of extreme knowledge
Leaves his kindly job in search
Of definite broader horizons unknown.

A strong, sturdy woman leaves life
Far behind as the entire world shifts
She is beloved, she is much adored.

A wide-eyed child calls it a day
In search of terribly better surroundings
He is still bright and the future.

A babe in the darkened woods cries loudly
When unknown frightening sounds escalate
The babe is lonely and needs a mate.

People drift and die on the sea of pain
Life's uncanny ways of predicting fate
Infinite life broadens the perspective.

A day in the life of honored people
Nothing happens for uncensored reasons
Death and life drift through small patches of time.