Copywright 2/15/2013
I feel sick.
Everything that I thought he was and
everything I thought I was are nothing.
I love him.
Unconditionally and want to be with him
in a relationship but he does not want me.
He’s a runner.
Running scared and has abandoned me
I fear he’s left me forever.
I feel so sick.
Why did this happen?
Why does he not want me?
A personal blog with my horror/sci-fi poems, short stories, heavy metal lyrics and personal posts.
Showing posts with label pain. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pain. Show all posts
Friday, February 15, 2013
Saturday, February 2, 2013
Trespass
Copyright: 12\26\98
Trespass
You think you'll take my soul
But you didn't expect me to lose control
You delight in a madman's tale
But you've considered not the price of the spell.
You believe life is complete
But you lie unsuspecting in agonizing defeat
You belittle my wants and needs
But stroke the eternal fire as it bleeds.
(pre-chorus)
Coming under the gun
Things look different, undone
Sleeping in the ruins
Startled as the destruction blooms.
(chorus)
Bow now to this trespass
Just give death a chance
Bow now to this trespass
Speak now and take the stance.
As the flame burns my heart
I will dictate your demise and rip you apart
As time wards my only sense
I will take my toll and tear down the fence.
As I lie helpless and bleeding
You will see my deception and start pleading
As I stomp out your life
You will realize your mistake and succumb to die.
(repeat pre-chorus)
(repeat chorus)
Trespass
You think you'll take my soul
But you didn't expect me to lose control
You delight in a madman's tale
But you've considered not the price of the spell.
You believe life is complete
But you lie unsuspecting in agonizing defeat
You belittle my wants and needs
But stroke the eternal fire as it bleeds.
(pre-chorus)
Coming under the gun
Things look different, undone
Sleeping in the ruins
Startled as the destruction blooms.
(chorus)
Bow now to this trespass
Just give death a chance
Bow now to this trespass
Speak now and take the stance.
As the flame burns my heart
I will dictate your demise and rip you apart
As time wards my only sense
I will take my toll and tear down the fence.
As I lie helpless and bleeding
You will see my deception and start pleading
As I stomp out your life
You will realize your mistake and succumb to die.
(repeat pre-chorus)
(repeat chorus)
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
The Knave
Copyright: 3/10/98
The Knave
I'll see you in hell
Where we all reside
Give your soul to the spell
And let it ride.
Don't be afraid
Don't be stupid
You may be spared
For what you did.
Vengeance will take you
To your grave
You'll play the fool
The joker, the knave.
Don't look ahead
Don't look for answers
You'll be dead
For your cancer.
If you think you've beat me and I'm down
Think again, because I'm still around
If you think ignoring me will make me go away
Check yourself, I'm stronger today.
The Knave
I'll see you in hell
Where we all reside
Give your soul to the spell
And let it ride.
Don't be afraid
Don't be stupid
You may be spared
For what you did.
Vengeance will take you
To your grave
You'll play the fool
The joker, the knave.
Don't look ahead
Don't look for answers
You'll be dead
For your cancer.
If you think you've beat me and I'm down
Think again, because I'm still around
If you think ignoring me will make me go away
Check yourself, I'm stronger today.
The Curse
Copyright:11\2\98
The Curse
I see inside
But you don't know
I know you lied
And it's time to go.
I see the truth
But you don't care
The point is mute
Now you just stare.
(pre-chorus)
As the sun reflects the night
Time shifts and salts the opening
Robbed me of the power of right
Only death can it bring.
As you sit and reflect past life
Time takes it's toll and ages you
Robbed and stumbling on the edge of a knife
Death regrets nothing, starts anew.
(chorus)
The curse
Now you will kneel
The curse
A time to kill.
Wickedness breeds
Deep from within
Planting seeds
Living with my sin.
Hatred must drive
Insanity to the brink
Somehow alive
Straighten the kink.
(repeat pre-chorus)
(repeat chorus)
(bridge)
In the night I fade from the light of day
As your life lies at my stained feet
I sink my teeth in and you're betrayed
Killing power bestowed in everyone I greet.
(repeat pre-chorus)
(repeat chorus)
The Curse
I see inside
But you don't know
I know you lied
And it's time to go.
I see the truth
But you don't care
The point is mute
Now you just stare.
(pre-chorus)
As the sun reflects the night
Time shifts and salts the opening
Robbed me of the power of right
Only death can it bring.
As you sit and reflect past life
Time takes it's toll and ages you
Robbed and stumbling on the edge of a knife
Death regrets nothing, starts anew.
(chorus)
The curse
Now you will kneel
The curse
A time to kill.
Wickedness breeds
Deep from within
Planting seeds
Living with my sin.
Hatred must drive
Insanity to the brink
Somehow alive
Straighten the kink.
(repeat pre-chorus)
(repeat chorus)
(bridge)
In the night I fade from the light of day
As your life lies at my stained feet
I sink my teeth in and you're betrayed
Killing power bestowed in everyone I greet.
(repeat pre-chorus)
(repeat chorus)
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
Deception
Copyright - 02/02/96
Deception
A man lonely and to himself
Tries to right wrongs long past
But his deception stops him
All the hurt, pain and misunderstanding
Old wounds do not mend fast
His deception.
A child unafraid and weary
Tries to understand but can’t
But his deception feeds him
All the sadness, relief and madness
The man just raves and rants
Child’s deception.
A woman caught in the middle and sick
Tries to make unrecognizable peace
But deception keeps her
All the gladness, anger and helping
When will these wars cease?
Her deception.
A family broken and unjustly beaten
Tries to live on sacrifice
But deception holds them together
All the intriguing unraveling
One more roll of the dice
Family deception.
On a whim the man decides to repair
A relationship gone eerily bad
But deception guides him
All the sorrow, horror and pride
Swallowed and he’s been had
Father’s deception.
Will the child accept in the late
An apology not straight from the heart
But his deception allows him
All the pain and time to borrow
Things that should be from the start
Son’s deception.
A mother’s love knows no boundaries
She’s ill but she tries
But deception rapes her
All the spiritual existence
Does not help, she dies
Mother’s deception.
Now the child and father are left
Do they pull themselves together?
But the deception walls them
Through all the pain and anger
They still think of her
Family deception.
The father ignores the child
The child feels shunned and unwanted
But the deception strengthens him
In spite of all the pain and sorrow
Can not forget the things he did
Father’s deception.
A child hurts and wonders why
The father puts him through trials
But the deception moves him
Alone and grievous child moans
Relations severed forgiveness frail
Child’s deception.
Time has past on a bird’s wing
And wounds sift salt and bleed
But the deception eventually kills
The emotional standing point
The father ignores the child’s needs
Family deception.
Deception
A man lonely and to himself
Tries to right wrongs long past
But his deception stops him
All the hurt, pain and misunderstanding
Old wounds do not mend fast
His deception.
A child unafraid and weary
Tries to understand but can’t
But his deception feeds him
All the sadness, relief and madness
The man just raves and rants
Child’s deception.
A woman caught in the middle and sick
Tries to make unrecognizable peace
But deception keeps her
All the gladness, anger and helping
When will these wars cease?
Her deception.
A family broken and unjustly beaten
Tries to live on sacrifice
But deception holds them together
All the intriguing unraveling
One more roll of the dice
Family deception.
On a whim the man decides to repair
A relationship gone eerily bad
But deception guides him
All the sorrow, horror and pride
Swallowed and he’s been had
Father’s deception.
Will the child accept in the late
An apology not straight from the heart
But his deception allows him
All the pain and time to borrow
Things that should be from the start
Son’s deception.
A mother’s love knows no boundaries
She’s ill but she tries
But deception rapes her
All the spiritual existence
Does not help, she dies
Mother’s deception.
Now the child and father are left
Do they pull themselves together?
But the deception walls them
Through all the pain and anger
They still think of her
Family deception.
The father ignores the child
The child feels shunned and unwanted
But the deception strengthens him
In spite of all the pain and sorrow
Can not forget the things he did
Father’s deception.
A child hurts and wonders why
The father puts him through trials
But the deception moves him
Alone and grievous child moans
Relations severed forgiveness frail
Child’s deception.
Time has past on a bird’s wing
And wounds sift salt and bleed
But the deception eventually kills
The emotional standing point
The father ignores the child’s needs
Family deception.
Crimson
Copyright:3/5/98
Crimson
Dig deep in your gut
Spill the bloodied hatred
Get out of the rut
See who really cares.
If you're looking for answers, there are none
If you have questions, then just get in line
If you want peace, look deep inside your head
If you want to interrogate me, you'll be dead.
(chorus)
See the crimson flow
Through my dirty fingertips
See the crimson die
Too far to quit.
Slaughter of hundreds
Cast of a thousand
Sell for the highest bid
Believe me for what I am.
Feel the pain and horror, you may live
Feel nothing completes you, the way I did
If your feeling a bit detached, it's no problem
Life goes on for the rest of us, time served.
(chorus)
As I am
One and true
Bow to me
Nothing you can do.
As I walk
Among the dead
Give me strength
The blind led.
(chorus)
Crimson
Dig deep in your gut
Spill the bloodied hatred
Get out of the rut
See who really cares.
If you're looking for answers, there are none
If you have questions, then just get in line
If you want peace, look deep inside your head
If you want to interrogate me, you'll be dead.
(chorus)
See the crimson flow
Through my dirty fingertips
See the crimson die
Too far to quit.
Slaughter of hundreds
Cast of a thousand
Sell for the highest bid
Believe me for what I am.
Feel the pain and horror, you may live
Feel nothing completes you, the way I did
If your feeling a bit detached, it's no problem
Life goes on for the rest of us, time served.
(chorus)
As I am
One and true
Bow to me
Nothing you can do.
As I walk
Among the dead
Give me strength
The blind led.
(chorus)
Cold
Copyright: 12\26\98
Cold
The human condition
Needs some nutrition
And as you can see
It's all part of my killing spree.
Severing the feelings
Abrupt and kneeling
On the altar of finished death
And taking your dying last breath.
(pre-chorus)
It gives me great pleasure
To introduce myself
I am a fiend without regret
And you've threatened my health.
(chorus)
As the scene unfolds
You realize my pain
And stand alone
Raped of life and cold.
If only human contact
Could keep fate lacked
And you could swim
In a sea of whim.
Packing in disappointment
And making the dent
Keeping my distance
And shattering the suspense.
(repeat pre-chorus)
(repeat chorus)
Cold
The human condition
Needs some nutrition
And as you can see
It's all part of my killing spree.
Severing the feelings
Abrupt and kneeling
On the altar of finished death
And taking your dying last breath.
(pre-chorus)
It gives me great pleasure
To introduce myself
I am a fiend without regret
And you've threatened my health.
(chorus)
As the scene unfolds
You realize my pain
And stand alone
Raped of life and cold.
If only human contact
Could keep fate lacked
And you could swim
In a sea of whim.
Packing in disappointment
And making the dent
Keeping my distance
And shattering the suspense.
(repeat pre-chorus)
(repeat chorus)
Am I Scaring You?
Copyright: 3/5/98
Am I Scaring You?
Come in, am I disturbing you?
You know how to play the fool
Don't leave, am I distracting you?
Look at me wipe away the drool.
Sit up, let's be the closest friends
What you see is what you get
Stand by, time leaves us to mend
But you really don't know me yet.
I've always wanted, wanted to make it so
I've always needed, needed you to know.
(chorus)
Am I scaring you?
Are you running away?
Why don't you see inside?
It's a bright, new day.
Am I scaring you?
Are you running away?
Don't stand and ignore me
I'm here to stay.
Come in, hear my labored breath
You know I'll never let you go
I'll hold you until death
You leave me no choice you know.
Sit up, don't slouch in your seat
I'll keep you alive forever
You're a mess, but my life's complete
Take that chair if you please sir, 'cus...
I've always wanted, wanted you to see
I've always needed, needed to be free.
(chorus)
Am I Scaring You?
Come in, am I disturbing you?
You know how to play the fool
Don't leave, am I distracting you?
Look at me wipe away the drool.
Sit up, let's be the closest friends
What you see is what you get
Stand by, time leaves us to mend
But you really don't know me yet.
I've always wanted, wanted to make it so
I've always needed, needed you to know.
(chorus)
Am I scaring you?
Are you running away?
Why don't you see inside?
It's a bright, new day.
Am I scaring you?
Are you running away?
Don't stand and ignore me
I'm here to stay.
Come in, hear my labored breath
You know I'll never let you go
I'll hold you until death
You leave me no choice you know.
Sit up, don't slouch in your seat
I'll keep you alive forever
You're a mess, but my life's complete
Take that chair if you please sir, 'cus...
I've always wanted, wanted you to see
I've always needed, needed to be free.
(chorus)
Access Denied
Written: 5/22/95
Copyright Demented Thinking Productions 1998
Access Denied
When the chips come crumbling down and you're all alone
Don't count on me
When light fades into darkness and no one comes to your aid
Just let me be.
If your were lying face down in a gutter covered in blood
I'll pass you by
When you need a friend and you feel you can no longer stand
Kiss my ass and die.
If you had the balls to ask why
I'd probably tell you a white lie
Finding out who your friends are really sucks
But if you think I'm your friend, then you're out of luck.
Why? Because,...
(pre-chorus)
You were never there when I need you
As friends and acquaintances we're through
When did you stop and think about someone else?
You're in your own little world, full of yourself.
(chorus)
Access denied
Your license has been revoked
Access denied
Your friendship is a joke
Access denied.
When you're cold, hungry and lonely reaching out for someone who cares
I'd let you rot in hell
When you have nowhere or no one to turn to and everyone exits
Come hear the toll of the bell.
If you needed my help and you were caught in a circumstance
I'd say too bad
If you really wanted me to do something strictly for you only
You're fucked 'cause I'm mad.
If you sit and wonder what and how
You'd better listen closely right now
Finding out where you really stand sucks
Personally, I really couldn't give a flying fuck.
Why? Because,...
(pre-chorus)
When I was down, it was me you kicked
Now you're upset because you're getting dicked
Get your head out of your ass and see
That's not how life's gonna be.
(repeat chorus)
Dig into your muddled brain
And think back how you
Left me standing alone
I'm Abel and you must be Cain
Relay the vital message
When I turn and walk away
If it doesn't totally sink in
I'm holding an uncertain grudge.
(repeat chorus)
Copyright Demented Thinking Productions 1998
Access Denied
When the chips come crumbling down and you're all alone
Don't count on me
When light fades into darkness and no one comes to your aid
Just let me be.
If your were lying face down in a gutter covered in blood
I'll pass you by
When you need a friend and you feel you can no longer stand
Kiss my ass and die.
If you had the balls to ask why
I'd probably tell you a white lie
Finding out who your friends are really sucks
But if you think I'm your friend, then you're out of luck.
Why? Because,...
(pre-chorus)
You were never there when I need you
As friends and acquaintances we're through
When did you stop and think about someone else?
You're in your own little world, full of yourself.
(chorus)
Access denied
Your license has been revoked
Access denied
Your friendship is a joke
Access denied.
When you're cold, hungry and lonely reaching out for someone who cares
I'd let you rot in hell
When you have nowhere or no one to turn to and everyone exits
Come hear the toll of the bell.
If you needed my help and you were caught in a circumstance
I'd say too bad
If you really wanted me to do something strictly for you only
You're fucked 'cause I'm mad.
If you sit and wonder what and how
You'd better listen closely right now
Finding out where you really stand sucks
Personally, I really couldn't give a flying fuck.
Why? Because,...
(pre-chorus)
When I was down, it was me you kicked
Now you're upset because you're getting dicked
Get your head out of your ass and see
That's not how life's gonna be.
(repeat chorus)
Dig into your muddled brain
And think back how you
Left me standing alone
I'm Abel and you must be Cain
Relay the vital message
When I turn and walk away
If it doesn't totally sink in
I'm holding an uncertain grudge.
(repeat chorus)
A Day In The Life
A Day in the Life
Copyright:1/25/96
A wounded disciple of the heart
Leaves his comfortable home in search
Of a loving woman who tends his needs.
A distinguished man of extreme knowledge
Leaves his kindly job in search
Of definite broader horizons unknown.
A strong, sturdy woman leaves life
Far behind as the entire world shifts
She is beloved, she is much adored.
A wide-eyed child calls it a day
In search of terribly better surroundings
He is still bright and the future.
A babe in the darkened woods cries loudly
When unknown frightening sounds escalate
The babe is lonely and needs a mate.
People drift and die on the sea of pain
Life's uncanny ways of predicting fate
Infinite life broadens the perspective.
A day in the life of honored people
Nothing happens for uncensored reasons
Death and life drift through small patches of time.
Copyright:1/25/96
A wounded disciple of the heart
Leaves his comfortable home in search
Of a loving woman who tends his needs.
A distinguished man of extreme knowledge
Leaves his kindly job in search
Of definite broader horizons unknown.
A strong, sturdy woman leaves life
Far behind as the entire world shifts
She is beloved, she is much adored.
A wide-eyed child calls it a day
In search of terribly better surroundings
He is still bright and the future.
A babe in the darkened woods cries loudly
When unknown frightening sounds escalate
The babe is lonely and needs a mate.
People drift and die on the sea of pain
Life's uncanny ways of predicting fate
Infinite life broadens the perspective.
A day in the life of honored people
Nothing happens for uncensored reasons
Death and life drift through small patches of time.
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